It is definite that the foremost learning center for every child is lap of a mother. Parents’ mannerism are revealed in the children. The narrative of Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jeelani is well-known: When he was going with caravan, thieves’ gang steal from the caravan, when the time come up to inquire Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jeelani (Rahmatullahi Alaih), a young man who is eighteen years old, the thieves asked if he possess any proceeds and upon asking he informed them about money which had been patched in his clothes by his mother. The thieves asked astonishingly that why he informed them about patched money and to which he said them that his mother counseled him ‘to never speak lie’ and after listening that thieves become feeling guilty and ask forgiveness to Allah. It is the obligation of the parents to advise to their children and become a role model for them.
Allah (Subhanahu Ta’ala) mentioned in the Holy Quran about the advice that Luqman Hakeem told to his son in the form of instruction: “O my son! Join not others with Allah; association with Allah is indeed the highest wrong-doing.”Then after some ayaat, the advise continues,O my son! If there be (but) the weight of a mustard-seed and it were (hidden) in a rock or (anywhere) in the heavens or on earth, Allah will bring it forth; for Allah knows the finest mysteries, (and) is well-acquainted (with them).O my son! Establish regular prayer, enjoin what is Just, and forbid what is wrong; and bear with patient constancy whatever befalls thee; these are affairs of determination. And swell not thy check (for pride) at men, nor walk in insolence through the earth; For Allah loveth not Any arrogant boaster. And be moderate in thy pace, and lower they voice; for the harshest of sounds without doubt is the braying of an ass.(Surah Luqman)
We can remember our Muslim culture in recent past that all the grown-ups of the society have guided the youth. No child had the courage to act upon in the gathering of elders. Elders had the authority to discipline and control the child without facing parent’s fury as is the case today. Consequently, children are inclined to disrespect and misbehave elders because they are no longer frightened from anyone except that parents and that too is observed rarely. Parents came to know very late that the ‘freedom’ they are providing to their children was devastating for them. Being affectionate and loving to your child is one aspect but to give them freedom to perform anything is not affection but it is hurting the child. Ah, this is all a consequence of the parents ignorance from their obligation of teaching the child. More often from television the child gains much of his/her ill-mannerisms.
Today, I ask you to take my words to be a reminder and a word of caution. When the child starts speaking then educate them the name of Allah. In the past, mothers chant the word Allah Allah in order to put their children to sleep, but in recent era it is through playing the music. When children become mature then they try to copy acts, therefore do not perform anything in front of them which will damage their mannerisms because they perform whatever they observe their parents performing. Similarly, never dispute with your partner in presence of children because this can tense the child and root them to consider that they are the cause of the dispute. Never curse your children. Recite Quran, Pray Salah in front of children, go to the Masjid with them, and tell them narratives of our virtuous predecessors, they are very much fond of listening tales. Hearing stories with morals and lessons will enhance their good habits.
When they are a slight older, teach six Kalimat, Imane Mufassal, Imane Mujmal and after that also teach them Salah. Keep them under the supervision of an Allah-fearing Hafiz or Maulvi to learn Holy Quran and knowledge of religion so they can better know about the beautiful religion. Teach them the masail of gusul, wudu, and salah. Try to make at least one of your children religious scholar or Hafiz-e- Quran. A Hafiz will be rewarded to get three generations forgiven and Alim will be rewarded to get seven generations forgiven [on the Day of Judgement]. It is unnecessary to worry that a scholar has no source of income, Know that one gets only destined income even knowing non religious education; one will get what Allah has destined for him. Do not expose children towards materialism rather teach your children simplicity. Send your children to colleges and universities; make them engineers, doctors, judges, or any successful profession in this world but mentor them such that they perform these professions as honest Muslims who know their religion.